I grew up in First Baptist America, but I was born on my knees with my face buried in my parents' couch. That is to say, the person I am today is the direct result of something that happened about ten years ago.
On a quiet October evening, I decided I'd had enough of doing my own thing, being my own person, having it all together. I was about to turn 14, and I could already tell that life was going to be way over my head. Some people had just flown planes into buildings, stuff was happening in my family, I didn't have an overwhelming number of friends, and to top it all off I had this nagging feeling that I was completely missing the point of life. I'd tried being perfect (ha!), had been baptized, and went to church every time my parents said "go," but in truth I had the blackest heart you could imagine. Of all the things that were out of my control, what bothered me the most was that I did not like me and was powerless to do anything about it. No matter how good I tried to be, I still had that same selfish, proud, bitter, unpopular heart that wouldn't go away.
So, I summoned some parental help and got down on my knees, right there in the living room, with my nose stuck between the couch cushions. For the first time in my life I prayed to the God who made me and confessed that there was nothing in me that should make Him want to listen, and I apologized for that. I asked for the sacrifice Jesus made to be counted instead of my long list of faults. I asked Him to please take things into His own hands and show me how to do life. I asked Him to change my heart. And do you know what? It's been ten years, and He's still changing me. I've come a long way, and I've got a long way to go. It's not always easy, but it's always good.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please get in touch with me! If it's an emergency, please click here.
Sincerely, Becky (as some call me)
