Before you meet Prince Charming

In case you didn’t know, which is pretty much impossible considering the shamelessly sappy tweets and facebook posts I’ve been rolling out for the past few months, I’m getting married. In three weeks. What the heck?!

It’s been a year and a half of big changes, bigger challenges, and enormous lessons for both me and my future husband (that still sounds so weird to me). So of course I’ve been pondering the cliche question of “what would I say to my younger, pre-European-romance self,” and this is pretty much what I’ve come up with. Take it with a grain of salt -- I’m not married yet!

8 things to do before you meet Prince Charming...
1. Stop planning your wedding. Admittedly, I say this in part because my pinterest board was full of Hobby Lobby projects and rental websites that are 100% irrelevant considering that my wedding will be in another country. But the real idea here is that we want a wedding that represents us, not just me. Planning our wedding together has been the sweetest period of our relationship, and I love knowing that every part of our special day is something we built together. I recommend exchanging your "future dream wedding with unidentified male" Pinterest board to something along the lines of "feeding men 101."

2. Cook. Men are hungry. Enough said. And speaking of eating...

3. Develop healthy habits, both physically and spiritually. My own flaws and insecurities directly affect the person I love the most, so work on those, for both of your sakes. Read the Bible every day. Set aside some time for exercise. Eat real food (see #2). Taking care of yourself is the best practice for caring for someone else. And speaking of caring...

4. Work on other relationships, especially with family and close friends. Learn to apologize and to forgive. Learn to discern which issues to address and which to let go. If you don’t know how to get along with people now, or keep friends for more than six months, what makes you think it will get any easier when the person you need to get along with is a permanent, ever-present part of you life? Some days are full of sparkly butterflies, others you just find coffee grounds in the sink (pet peeve!!!). Practice looking at every situation from the perspective of building others up, not tearing them down. And speaking of others...

5. Learn to put others first. This gets harder the longer you remain single, because you simply don’t have to consider anyone else’s interests but your own. Maybe it sounds spiritual, and it is, but this is a practical issue, too. Sure, sometimes it’s going to church mid-week when you don’t feel like it because you know he needs the spiritual community. Other times it’s washing a load of his nasty work clothes, even though you really wanted your delicate lace shirt clean for tomorrow. Either way, it means your wants come after his/our needs. Practice thinking of others now, in everyday situations, in preparation for a lifetime of thinking of “him” and “us” instead of just “me.”

6. Evaluate what defines you. If my identity had been based on my age, nationality, family background, education, or career, I would’ve rejected the person God had prepared for me, because we are completely different in all of those areas. What we do have in common (among many other things) is a relationship with Christ, and a desire to serve God and others with the unique gifts He’s given us. Some of the differences I initially thought would make us wrong for each other have turned out to be huge blessings, and others are just irrelevant when it comes to everyday life. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have standards, but make sure they’re based on things that really matter. To quote a former pastor, “look for character traits, not characteristics.” Let God show you what’s important, and then trust Him to fulfill your heart’s desires in the little things. He will. Which brings me to #7...

7. Practice walking by faith. This one is long.
When we were moving toward engagement, our pastor here gave us one piece of advice: “Marriage is an act of faith.” This had been our perspective even since before we met. We both prayed and trusted God to provide a spouse, and entered our relationship trusting God to make His plan clear, which He did to both of us, and soon. Once we were convinced that this thing was from God, every part of our relationship was supported by that confidence. Instead of weighing flaws and debating whether or not we were "right" for each other, we spent the months leading up to our engagement constantly marveling at and celebrating the way God had prepared us for our life together, working to bring us to each other at just the right time. It didn't matter what we found out about each other -- and we were both scary honest about ourselves -- because our commitment to this relationship was and is an extension of our general surrender to God's will for our lives. For every question mark, there were ten confirmations that this was it. Period.

Of course you should use discernment and listen to input from people who care about you, but our human perspective is limited and often flawed (see #6). Ultimately it comes down to seeking God’s will and acting in the faith that He has a plan and knows what’s best for both of you. And take it from me: It’s a lot easier to trust God with the big things, like your marriage, after having already trusted Him in every other part of your life. This takes me to my last, and biggest, piece of advice...

8. Believe in God’s sovereignty. This is apparently a little controversial in Christian communities, but for me it was always obvious -- God has a plan! He cares about who you marry! Yes, I believe that God has a specific person prepared for each of us to marry. I believe He is absolutely in control of every area of my life, including and especially my marriage. I already blogged about this subject here: sovereignty and cookies. I also highly recommend the book "As Silver Refined," by Kay Arthur, which helped me a lot in learning about God's sovereignty, even in times of uncertainty. (You’re still single, so you have plenty of time to read, right?)

Well, I think I’ve said enough on this subject. In short, stop searching. Stop expecting. Stop chasing relationships that don’t seem to be happening on your time. Pray, grow, live, and let God work. He will make it happen, He will make His plan clear, and He will bless enormously when you acknowledge and trust His control.

More, sappier, and more entertaining posts coming up in the following weeks! Get ready!

oh, HEY! My name is behind that title!

This may not be what I consider my best work, but apparently somebody liked it, so I'm pleased to share. Find my creative non-fiction this month in Deep South Magazine, an online publication dedicated to all things southern.

http://deepsouthmag.com/2012/09/home-2/

fresh, fresh, fresh!

I'm in Romania these days and someone keeps giving us tomatoes. I really don't even like tomatoes unless they're cooked into something and well-disguised, but apparently someone thinks my roommate and I can eat dozens of fresh tomatoes... And then today she walks in with part of a pig that someone butchered today. To be more specific, she walked in eating pigskin, which I quickly recognized as such and refused to taste. Then she presented two beautiful pork chops, just hours after I mentioned wanting some good meat for supper tonight.

With all those tomatoes, fresh boneless pork chops, and a pack of spaghetti laying around... you know what happened next: pork chop parmesan! This was possibly the healthiest, easiest, and therefore most delicious meal I've ever cooked.

Pork Chop (or Chicken!) Parmesan for One*
1 boneless pork chop or boneless skinless chicken breast
Mrs. Dash Original (or italian seasoning blend of your choice)
2 medium tomatoes, peeled (a bit messy, but easy)
1 fresh garlic clove, pressed (or equivalent amount of crushed garlic)
salt
sugar
black pepper
olive oil
spaghetti, approximately 1/2" - 3/4" bundle raw
1/8 cup parmesan cheese, shredded

If you have a meat pounder, beat the pork or chicken to an ideal thickness of 1/2 inch (or as close as possible). If your meat is already this size, then skip the pounding. Lightly salt meat and sprinkle one side with seasoning blend, then set aside.

While preparing tomato sauce, boil 1 1/2 - 2 cups water in a small pot and cook spaghetti, removing from water when tender.

For the sauce, heat 1 tsp. olive oil on low-medium in a nonstick skillet; cut tomatoes into small pieces and add to skillet, along with garlic. When tomatoes begin to sizzle, reduce heat and simmer, stirring frequently. Add a pinch each of salt, sugar, and black pepper. Break up tomato chunks as desired; when tomatoes have reduced to a smooth sauce, remove to a small bowl and set aside.

In the same pan, heat 1 tsp olive oil on medium heat. When oil begins to spread, place meat, seasoned side down, in center of skillet. Cook 3-5 minutes until sides begin to darken, then flip and cook for another 1-2 minutes. Cut a small slice in the center to check for doneness. Pork chops cook quickly, so keep a close eye on them, especially if they are thin.

In a shallow bowl/plate, place meat on top of spaghetti, then top with tomato sauce and sprinkle with parmesan cheese.

Voila! Pofta buna, bon apetit!

*For extra mouths (or leftovers), simply multiply ingredients by the number of servings.

Paul Simon, Art Garfunkel, and Kevin Arnold

[If you're short on time, skip the following paragraph and insert "long, busy day with greasy hair."]

Spring Cleaning

Since I'm moving in a little over a month, I've started...

eating all my food.

burning down my candles.

giving away my clothes.

de-cluttering my house -- and life.

I don't want to waste, but neither do I want to walk away with more than I can carry. I have only this question: Why don't I live like this all the time?

out of the box

That show used to really drive me crazy, but my little sis loved it... I hope you have the theme song stuck in your head now so I'm not the only one!

I want to tell you about something I did not come up with. I don't remember where I first saw/heard about it, but I think it's a good idea worth sharing: the encouragement box.

justice?

Life just ain't fair sometimes.

Reality Checks

I get the question a lot, "Where exactly are you from?" I always say I'm from somewhere near the nearest large town, and they're satisfied with that. I never expect people in another state to know about our little town -- but she does. One of the teachers in my school, in a town the size of a grain of rice, had her first teaching job in my peanut of a hometown. What your mother told you is true: you should always be on your best behavior! I may have never been more self-aware than the moment when I handed that teacher the email address of a church member from back home. It really is a small world.

I got a new neighbor last week.

I read a book once about a family who moved into an old house. In the attic, their daughter found a dollhouse model of the house. Every time she looked through the windows of the dollhouse, the girl could see into the lives of families who had lived there in the past. When my family moved into an old house a few years ago, I thought of that book and what the house might have looked like through a pair of 1947 eyes. I wondered if they were hiding somewhere peering at me, telling me not to hang that picture there, trying to warn me about the squeaky floorboard in the middle room. But where we once felt like intruders, the house is now full of our own memories and smells. It's our home now.

you, too?

There is comfort in seeing yourself in someone else.

Maybe it comes from knowing you’re not the first one who’s made that mistake. Maybe it lets you know your taste isn’t as strange as you thought. Maybe it’s just part of being human, one of 7 billion in the world -- no two exactly alike, but not altogether different, either.

tasty corn chow-der

Ok, I have to admit, corn chowder didn't sound too appetizing at first... But I had some things on hand, and I was craving a creamy soup on this cold and rainy night. I used this recipe for the ingredient list, but my version is much simpler and more table-for-one-or-two appropriate.

Chicken Corn Chowder
1/4 onion, diced
1/4 red bell pepper, diced
1/2 clove garlic or 1 tsp. garlic powder
1 can corn, mostly drained
1 can cream of potato soup
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup (2/3 can) evaporated milk
2 boneless, skinless chicken thighs or breasts, cooked and chopped
1-2 cups chicken broth* (or water)

*Note: If you plan ahead, simply boil chicken and reserve the water. To remove the fat, lay plastic wrap on top of the liquid and refrigerate until the fat floats to the top, then peel away the plastic.

Cook the pepper and onion in the bottom of soup pot on low-medium for 3-4 minutes, then add garlic and stir constantly for 1 minute. Add corn, potato soup, salt and pepper (start with 1/4 tsp each, you can add more later). Stir for a minute and add broth. Chop slightly with an "immersion blender" or in regular blender -- don't puree! You should still have chunks of corn. Return to pot and add chicken (you can do this before blending if you want a smoother soup). Add evaporated milk and bring to a boil, stirring frequently. Simmer on very low heat for 10 minutes. Taste and add more salt/pepper/garlic to your liking. Goes well with biscuits or buttered toast.

With leftover ingredients, because you can't buy one fourth of a bell pepper:
bell pepper - slice and freeze to use later
onion - goes in pretty much everything worth eating, so you'll need it soon
evaporated milk - use as coffee creamer
garlic - like onion, it's in almost anything good, so keep it around for awhile

you're welcome!

Hey there, folks! I'm coming to you LIVE from the "Graduate Student Lounge," where I'm joined by a coffee pot, old mini-fridge, and a wall calendar. We also have some office chairs, but I have this thing about old furniture... I kind of think it's gross. Could this have something to do with people I observed using the public couches in the student center at BPC? Probably. Throw on a slipcover and it's fine -- my very own sofa is second-hand -- but I have no idea whose butts sat in these chairs before they were banished here. No, thanks.

pinterest!

Ok, if you don't have pinterest, I want you to stop right now and go sign up. You'll be put on the waiting list for an "invitation," but that process took less than a day for me. So far I've found recipes, daydreams, and incredibly inexpensive home organization ideas!

I am all about home organization. You might not know it if you saw my apartment right now, but I'm trying to get things in place. I've only lived here a year, right? It's never too late to get your life together! By the time I figure out where everything goes, it'll be time for me to move again... sigh... I like to think I'm just practicing so it won't take so long in my next home. Last weekend I tackled my one food cabinet with immovable shelves that are too close together. I realized it took an unreasonable amount of time to locate my Sleepytime tea, so I took a desk drawer organizer (which I got from the Target "1 spot" a few years ago) and sorted all my tea/instant coffee/hot chocolate into a handy caddy. Instead of searching through multiple containers, now I just pull the whole tray out, get what I need, and slide it back onto the shelf. Great solution for a short chick with lousy cabinets! I must give credit to Better Homes and Gardens for this solution and the next.

drawer organizer = beverage tray

Next I tackled the "over the stove" cabinet, where I kept a huddled mass of seasonings and spices. I got tired of taking down every single bottle to find my basil or cinnamon, so I picked up a pack of three pencil trays at Dollar General for $1 (at Dollar Tree they were $1 EACH! gotta watch those bargain stores!). One has "sweet" things, one has "savory," and one has "spicy." Another great idea would be to label each tray, but I can see what's in them anyway. Again, super cheap and simple way to find what I'm looking for in a snap, and without my stepping stool!

pencil trays = spice trays

Today I took a little stroll through Goodwill, which I do frequently, and found a hideous white TV tray with a huge green pumpkin on it (yes, a green pumpkin). Add a little craft paint and some snazzy button/bottle cap magnets, and voila! This will be hanging above my desk tomorrow. This is my first attempt at making something I saw on pinterest, and assuming I can get it to stay on the wall, I think it was a success!

TV tray = magnet board

Next projects: mittens made out of an old sweater, and a necklace rack from a shower curtain rod and hooks. I can hardly wait!

Table for One (or Two): Chicken Pot Pie

If you're like me, you fall prey all too often to the convenience and low price of those Banquet frozen pot pies (although I REFUSE to buy any other frozen dinners, with the exception of occasional Hot Pockets). They say you get what you pay for, and I'm starting to realize you can cook REAL food almost as cheap as the frozen dinner, and much healthier. My favorite recipes use basic ingredients that every single person should have in the pantry, so I'll be well-stocked instead of spending my grocery budget on one meal. Here's just that kind of recipe for homemade single-serving chicken pot pies -- using food you probably already have -- super easy and ready in less than half an hour!

Ingredients (all of which I always have on hand):
1 can Campbell's chicken noodle soup - any variety, I used reduced sodium ($1)
2 Tbsp. flour (always good to have around)
vegetables of your choice - I used frozen mixed veggies (98 cents for a bag at WalMart)
4 Grands frozen mini buttermilk biscuits, or 2 regular-size frozen biscuits (approx. $3/bag)
Optional: 2 chicken strips or 1 breast, boiled and chunked (frozen chicken is about $6/bag)

Directions:
If you want the extra chicken, boil it just until tender while you prepare the rest of the recipe, then cut into small pieces. Mix soup with no more than 1/2 can of water and divide between 2 5-inch ramekins. Add vegetables (as much as you like) and 1 Tbsp. flour to each dish, stir, then microwave for 1 minute. Add boiled chicken and stir around a little more. Top each pie with 2 frozen biscuits and bake at 375 until biscuits are done. Note: The biscuits tend to not get done on the bottom, so it may be better to cook them for a couple of minutes before you put them on top of the pies, or cook for a few minutes and then split them.

If you're only cooking for 1, leave the biscuits off one of the pies keep it in the refrigerator for the next day, so all you have to do is add the biscuits and bake. Eating the same thing two days in a row will not kill you, I promise.

Total cost of all ingredients if you don't have anything, plus $4 ramekins from Big Lots: approximately $10 - $15. That's about the same as buying ten frozen pot pies, plus you can use the ingredients for other meals!

Thrifty? I think so. Delicious? Absolutely.

I made a happy plate!

surprised by joy

ice cream money goes to the coffee shop...

country music comes on...
cardigans come out of storage...
trees start to show their personalities...
I drive seven hours to breathe in the peanut harvest...

It’s when I can finally lay in the grass or ride my bicycle through the neighborhood without breaking a sweat! Good things happen in October. Welcome changes come in October.

cheers! lemonberry pucker

Ok, this one is super simple, but sometimes I forget that a smoothie doesn't have to be complicated to be 100% delicious! On such a beautiful, sunny day, I decided to end the first week of October with one last taste of summer. I promise this is twice as good as Sonic or McDonald's (and MUCH better for you).

Lemonberry Pucker (careful now... teehee)

1 cup frozen strawberries
8 oz sugar-free lemonade
     (I like store-brand Crystal Light)
1 cup ice cubes
     (even better if you make them with lemonade!)

Dump it all in, blend it up nice and smooth, and pucker up! Delightful!

cheers! frozen hazelmint mocha

I have this milkshake mix, one of those that comes in the canister on the health food aisle, and I'm having a blast figuring out ways to "shake things up" (pun completely intended)! Be expecting several more posts with easy drink recipes. You can use any soy/whey protein, slimfast, or whatever nutritional drink mix you have. My grandmother swears by JuicePlus.

frozen hazelmint mocha

1 scoop chocolate shake mix
6-8 oz. milk or cold water
1 serving instant coffee granules - I use nescafe sticks, they have a coupon right now!
       *if you don't have instant coffee, substitute cold coffee for liquids
1 cup ice cubes
1 heaping spoonful nutella
1 piece hard or soft peppermint candy

Dissolve coffee granules in liquid. Pour half into blender, add shake mix, then add remaining liquid. Blend on low to dissolve, then add nutella, peppermint, and ice cubes. Blend on low, increasing speed as ingredients combine until ice is crushed to desired consistency. Top it off with a squirt of whipped cream or a soft peppermint stick.


Drink to your health!

Can you believe this is packed with protein?

nail salons, etc.

“Oh, ignore that call...”

I tried not to stare at the woman two chairs over from me, tried not to let on that I was listening to her one-sided conversation. The young Vietnamese lady barely glanced up from painting toenails, but I couldn’t ignore the awkward silence and her phone still ringing. Were the other Asians, my sister, and my mother thinking the same thing? That no matter how much you need to relax, it’s rude to ignore phone calls from your daughter and proclaim it for the whole nail salon to hear, while you sit on your massage chair throne with cotton stuffed between your toes?

Table for One: Tangy Chicken with Shriveled Veggies

I just love a good, wholesome, home-cooked meal! Tonight's menu for one: Tangy Chicken Strips, Shriveled Veggies, and Homestyle Green Beans. This is a simple meal using things I always always always have on hand. It can be dinner for two by simply doubling the amounts, of course.

dirty laundry

So, I go to the laundromat every now and then. I have enough clothes and towels to last almost two weeks, which is about how long it takes me to collect half the quarters I need. In my time at the laundromat, I've done a lot of people watching, and I think the most interesting thing has been the way people carry their laundry.