weak = ?

[Disclaimer: This is in no way to be taken as a self-centered Gospel. Rather, my hope is that by realizing my own humble state, I might exalt the One who is able to overcome, and thus be better able to bring His message of hope to those who also find themselves falling short of His glory.]
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"You're the defender of the weak, You comfort those in need..."

I sang these words tonight for the umpteen-hundredth time (and the second time today). Images came to mind of my friend in Romania who's taking Christmas gifts to the orphanage this weekend. I thought of the children's faces on the World Vision brochure in my purse. I thought of the refugees who flood into our cities without homes, without jobs, without the English-speaking ability they need to make a living here.

And then I thought of myself.

I thought of high school, of being a lost little college freshman. I thought of the countless small choices that raised big questions. I thought of the past four months. I thought of all the times I've been asked, "Why are you so different?" and I said nothing. I thought of that moment when temptation is so loud, when my spirit is almost willing but my flesh is so... weak.

That's when it hit me: God's strength is not just for people who live in third world countries. His comfort is not only for children whose parents don't want them. One day, every nation, tribe, and tongue will gather before Him, because He is the God of EVERY nation, tribe, and tongue. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I suppose that includes nerdy blonde American girls with slight southern accents. I think it includes you, too.

Why am I so quick to assume that I am not the one to be defended, that I am not among those in need? I will boast gladly about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may dwell in me -- for when I am weak, then I am strong.

He is not just their hope and strong Deliverer... Praise God, He is our hope and strong Deliverer.

Holy Fire

This morning I sat down on the sofa to spend some time with my Father, decidedly turning away from social networking (and since when did that become such a cold, technological, impersonal term?) I had just come from class and a returned test with a hallelujah-worthy B, and I needed to stop into work to check the schedule, but just walking in the door takes an act of my will -- come to think of it, almost everything is an act of my will these days. I needed to eat some daily Bread before I did anything else. I needed quality time.

questions & answers

(circa 1am)

Q: Where does a single 20-something spend her paycheck?
A: grocery store, gas pump, laundromat, farmer's market, Sonic happy hour, cable TV/internet

Q: Where does a grown-up find friends?
A: EVERYWHERE! loose the chains that bind you!

Q: Who are a graduate student's friends?
A: classmates, coworkers, elderly women, young children, customers who frequent your place of employment, anyone who breathes and doesn't mention Chaucer (because he's SO last degree program -- if the Duchess is reading this, don't worry, I'm kidding! sort of.)

Q: Tell us about having company in your home.
A: First of all, I make sure all misplaced items look like they know where they belong. Then I sweep the floor, ensure that the toilet paper isn't empty, and finish by washing a few of the dishes in the sink and setting them out to dry. In the meantime, a scented candle is burning to cover the smell of stir-fry from last night. When the guests arrive, I welcome them into my clean and cozy home and warmly receive their complements on the ambient lighting. We engage in friendly conversation over coffee and midterm study guides.

Q: What's it like not having a roommate?
A: quiet evenings alone with a book, scented candles, and a warm cup of herbal tea -OR- afternoons eavesdropping on the neighbors while draping half-dried laundry from the doors, curtain rods, countertops, etc. with the door open and fans turned on high -OR- early mornings running madly through the apartment looking for matching items of clothing while choking down a cold pop-tart and being as loud as possible

Q: Do you use your kitchen daily?
A: No. I get free meals when I'm on the clock. However, I make up for missed days by cooking two-hour bowls of stir-fry and baking all-afternoon loaves of zucchini bread. One day I'll be a speed chef.

Q: Do you spontaneously combust and/or dance?
A: I'm training to become a cage-fighter. Does that answer your question?

Q: When one lights a jar candle, it melts (of course). Over time the amount of wax in the jar diminishes noticeably. Where does the wax go?
A:

hey hey!

I'm now on the regular schedule as a food services cashier! I know, not very exciting... but it's a job, and it's on campus -- two blocks from my apartment. I'll sit in a chair and swipe cards and say hey to people. I don't think it'll be too bad. Oh, and I get to wear a super cool chef jacket and ugly non-slip shoes, even though I'm not a cook. Sweet!

So this means I have 1) a church, and 2) a job. The only prayer left to be answered now? Friends.