boys

Ok, fellas, I need to beg your forgiveness in advance for this post. Please know that I'm not rolling my eyes at your entire species. Really, I'm not. It's just... sometimes... yeah. Moving on.

I haven't blogged one of these stories in a long time, since the early days of my storytelling, but I hope we can all learn something here.

Around lunch time, I walked down the street with two crepe sandwiches and $3.15 for coffee. A latte at the bakery is $2.99, and with 10% sales tax, that clearly comes to *checks calculator* $3.28. But in my mind 10% was on this occasion actually the same as 10 CENTS, like perCENT, so one of those nickels in my pocket was really extra. I went in the bakery and was saddened to learn that they are offering a limited menu this summer that doesn't include espresso (how is that possible?). I quickly settled for an iced mocha at the same price, and obviously I didn't have enough money, so the gentleman in line behind me kindly offered to provide the other 13 cents. How generous! The famous bald barista -- Tony -- had enough in his change cup to cover for me, but I did appreciate the gesture.

Several hours later, I went to the gym with my lady friend (who is single and precious if anybody's interested in moving to Korea this fall). Nobody, nobody looks good at the gym. I drug my pasta-filled body onto the elliptical and had begun to pour sweat when I observed a young fellow standing by the free weights on the other side of the room. I was 99% sure he was a baseball player; I can always tell. Strike 1 (I have known a couple of nice baseball players, but they were exceptions). Then I noticed that he was not even lifting! He walked over to a weight machine, adjusted the weights, pulled a few times, looked at me and smiled, walked back to the free weights, shifted them around, sat on the weight bench, smiled at me drooping on the elliptical, carried some weights across the room to a different machine, went to the water fountain, smiled, straightened all the weight benches, smiled, walked around aimlessly for a minute... moved those same weights three more times without actually using them... You get the point. I think I rolled my eyes as many times as possible in my ten minute "fat burning" cycle. Then I went to use my usual arm weight machine, and the tall joker had it set to the absolute highest notch so that I had to stand on my tip-toes and jump to pull it down to my level. And what was he doing? Watching. And obviously suppressing laughter. Seriously? I don't know what else I can say about that. Little undergraduate boy, you fail.

The end.