some people's kids

I'm sorry if you're of the male species, but my girls will appreciate this one. Last night I babysat for three hours with a migraine and then had to make a special stop at BiLo for some supplies. I had not realized that my wardrobe consisted of souvenirs from three mission trips, but the cashier did. Bless his heart... As I placed my tampons, pads, and candy corn on the belt, he asked "How are you tonight?" First of all, it should have been obvious. (I'll spare you the crass details I was tempted to provide for him.) He proceeded to comment on everything I was wearing. We talked about NYC, Romania, and the great big world out there. I learned that Garrett hasn't been past Alabama and apparently has never spent more than three weeks with a woman, either. All you men out there need to learn a lesson from this little story. We don't purchase such items because they smell good or are nice to look at. They are expensive and a good indication that today is not the day to make small talk. Just be nice, smile, and make sure we don't have to scan our card more than once.

This one is for all you college students out there in blog-land. If you have a meal plan, don't abuse the system. The cafeteria is "all-you-can-eat" not "all-you-can-fit-in-your-backpack." I learned from an eyewitness that people have actually taken the liberty of pouring cereal into their bookbags. First there is the fact that this renders any food inedible and potentially a public health hazard (you know what kind of nastiness lives in the bottom of your backpack). Secondly, your foolishness (read: STEALING) will cause all five hundred resident students and Mrs. JoAnn to be inconvenienced. Bless her heart, she is now the guardian of all the world's bags. Bless my heart, I don't get to study while I eat lunch. I also have the joy of digging through all the world's bags because I was an early arrival and mine is on the bottom. You really are such an asset to society.

I hope this little didactic reading has spurred you on to love and good deeds!