I gladly took that precious baby in my arms. Davis has the biggest, brightest blue eyes I've ever seen, and I don't get to see them very often. I sat on the hay bails listening to some local country act and eating boiled peanuts, while Mommy went to have a few minutes for herself.
*pft pft pft* Oh! Somebody's a little gassy!
What's that?
I looked down to see a steady stream of brownish-yellow liquid flowing onto my arm, my hands, my jeans, and then the ground as I held the little bundle of joy away from my body. What have they been feeding this kid? I used my cat-like reflexes to scrub the evidence into the dirt with the toe of my boot. Looking up in panic, I summoned a relief team before Mommy came back from her peaceful moments to find the aftermath of a natural disaster.
How many women does it take to change a messy diaper? This time, three: One to hold the baby, one to wipe him down, and one to hold the trash bag. I took that last responsibility for myself.
Poop cleaned from all body parts, check. Baby wipes in dumpster, check. Messy once-white onesie tied up in plastic bag, check. Baby in clean clothes, check. We tried to act natural as his Mommy came back to her precious baby boy. We had done our best to hide all evidence, but there was no ignoring the new outfit.
"Oh, did we change clothes while Mommy was gone?"
We all looked at his orange shirt and smiled sideways at her. I returned Davis to his Mommy's arms and doused my hands with a third shot of sanitizer gel. I love babies, and I don't mind changing diapers... but there's nothing like a mother's love, right?
You're the best. ;) You make an amusing vignette out of baby poop. Now THAT'S talent.
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